#4. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!

to celebrate the new year, ive decided to stay in with my family and my next door neighhours and chill. so im writing this......

Ok so another decade is behind us and down memory lane i go, i nicked this from facebook and please feel free to nick it back and fill in your own so i can see what you have been up to. you could even do one as a reply to this blog.

1. How did you start the decade?
As a teenager in a 3 year relationship, i was 18. I was quite unhappy regardless of my relationship but things are better now.

2. Who did you live with?
My Mum, step dad steve, my two dogs farrah and sam (RIP farrah and sam), my cat lucy, three guinea pigs and a rabbit.

3. Did you have a boyfriend/partner?
yeah I had been with someone for 3 years by that point, Martin

4. Who was your closest friend?
Martin, his sister becca and hayley (haze)

5. What weddings have you attended?
Hayley (nee peall) and richard faraday and i was bridesmaid, rachel (nee edwards)and ben mayo and i was chief bridesmaid, some random family weddings who i dont even remember, i go to about 4 a year i have such a huge family.

6. Any new additions to the family?
lots, they are all cousins children, the only new additions to my close family we have is of he four legged variety, kalli, bebe, mallyn, arienne and merredoc as of recently.



7. Life changing experiences?
In 2006 I had a bad car accident, it has changed my life but im getting there. extending my love of music, changed my life forever.

8. Holidays been on?
ive been to cornwall a million and one times, turkey and i went to american in 2004, 2005 and 2006, going again in 2010.

9. Favourite Band of the decade?
slipknot and my chemical romance ( i dont care what you say)

10. Favourite Film of the decade?
LOTR, Harry potter, Narnia, this decade has been good for fantasy films.

11. Favourite Game of the decade?
Animal crossing on DS

12. Favourite Fashion of the decade?
Skinny Jeans and band tshirts with skate trainers

13. Favourite TV show?
From lark rise to candleford, whose line is it anyway, harry hills TV burp and ive recently discovered i do actually like family guy!

14. Favourite Book of the Decade?
I dont read books so ill chose a graphic novel/comic, The Umbrella academy.

15. Favourite Celeb of the Decade?
Corey taylor, Heath ledger, johnny depp,

16. Jobs over the decade?
ASDA: til operator, shop floor assistant, dogs body.
ARGOS: pick up counter assistant, great job!
waitress
HELP THE AGED: fund raising assistant??
bingo hall assistant
nanny to two children,
nanny and housekeeper to two newborns currently

17. Greatest moments
Seeing slipknot live twice in 7 months, high fiving 2 members of slipknot the second time i saw them.
performing live at wembley arena with anastacia.
completing uni and getting a degree.
going to disneyworld for the first time and second and third.
download festival 07,08 and 09
turkey with nikki in 2008
passing my driving test with 100% in 2006

18. Sadest moments
losing my dogs farrah and sam. RIP babies.xxx
splitting up with my first love Martin,
Losing my best freind joe to jealousy and shame,
finding out my best freind had a brain tumour.

19. Biggest Achievements
passing my driving test with 100%
completing uni with a degree
battling severe depression
giving up smoking

20. Any regrets
not at all, in my mind everything happens for a reason

21. Big Occasions
my mum was 50 (in 2009) and thats all i can think of right now.

22. How did you finish the decade?
Well, im still single after almost 2 years, Ive met some wonderful people in this decade and i think they have helped sculpt me into the person i am today, Im down that im single, but im hoping that 2010 brings a nice caring man who will love me for me. Im a housekeeper and Nanny for 2 wonderful newborn twins and my music career is dead but hopefully reviving it is another thing i hope to achieve in 2010. Im happy but i want more.

23. Closest friends now?
Chris

24. If someone had said to you in 1999 that this is what you would be doing in 10 years time what would you of said?
fuck off, i want more than that.

25. What do you have planned for the future?
I plan to revive my music career, start looking out for me more and hopefully meet someone i can love and get love from in return. in respect to job wise i hope to find a better paying job and support my family better than i can now.

26. What has the last decade taught you?
life is tough, get a helmet! no seriously, its taught me that love is hard and takes work, true love shouldnt be taken for granted and that you are never alone, just sometimes you are lonely. ive learnt to take in nature as we are losing it every second of the day.

what have you good people done this decade???

send me a post and stalk me!!!!!!!!!!
stalk me link in the side bar!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

#3. Happy Anniversary Jesus

Today is CHRISTMAS DAYYYYYYYY!!! Woot Woot!

Its been the weirdest Christmas ever, for some reason i really haven't cared much for Christmas this year whereas usually I'm like OMG ITS XMAS FTW LOL VIP RSVP BBQ! But no this year Ive been abit more "oh god its Christmas, now i gotta spend money".

As a kid i believed in father Christmas and even now i believe what his persona stands for (peace, love and all that flowery stuff) but the magic of Christmas as in the excitement of opening presents and stuff has just completely gone, its nice, in fact its lovely, don't get me wrong but most of the things you get for Christmas as an adult you already know about, lots of things aren't surprises and in general the older you become the harder you are to buy for, therefore leading people to buying you chocolates or shit bubble bath stuff from boots 3 for 2 that your never going to touch, in fact you will probably stick it in the raffle at a local pub or fair what have you. I would rather someone gave me a couple of quid and say "here, have this and buy yourself something small that you like" or even "i didn't know what to get you so i didn't bother" I would rather people be honest.

Last night i went out and i didn't get in until 6am Christmas day morning - another thing that points to it losing its appeal for me, usually i wouldn't dream of going out on Christmas eve, oh no that's family time! but this year, i just wanted to be with some Friends and forget about everything, yes its been a tough year and i hope that 2010 brings me and everyone i love and care for something better than they got this year, mostly i hope it brings me something strong and handsome in the shape of a man, is that wishful thinking?!

so i got lots of lovely presents but its come to the evening now and I'm feeling abit lonely so i thought i would write on here to the void that is the interwebz, to wish you all a lovely Christmas and a very happy new year! explaining to you how i feel about Christmas along the way. sooooo

Meri Kurisumasu soshite Akemashite Omedeto!
Sing Dan Fae Lok. Gung Hai Fat Choi
Geseknde Kersfees en 'n gelukkige nuwe jaar
Joyeux Noel et Bonne Année!
Frohe Weihnachten und ein gl|ckliches Neues Jahr!
God Jul Och Ett Gott Nytt Ar

or (I'm edumacated ^_^)

just plain old, merry Christmas and a happy new year!

lublublub xxxxxxxxxxx

#2. What I Want In A Man

Now, this may seem deep and maybe a lil scary but actually its just something thats been on my mind for some time now. Ive been single now for almost 2 years, well I had a relationship but it lasted a month *sigh*, he didnt tell me he loved me so therefore in my mind due to its short existence it doesnt really count, that was a year ago. So the reason im single now is through personal choice, I could be with someone but unfortunately I am very picky and therefore its hard to find someone I actually want to be with, I realise this could make me look like a complete bitch but I just know what i want, is that a bad thing? is it a good thing? Mostly the reason I am not with someone is because the men I meet turn out to be complete losers and for a long time now i've been wondering if real men even exist. I am single mostly due to the guys i meet not mentally being capable for what im looking for. Firstly I would like to say, I do NOT NEED (need being the important word) a man with money, fast cars, designer suits, rolex watches and I dont want a model. If a guy who showed me the qualities that i want in a man came along and he had these things, i wouldnt say no, hopefully you get me.

So heres what I want:

LETS GET PHYSICAL!
I want a tall man, now when i say tall i dont nessecarily mean 6ft 8, i mean at least the same height, maybe slightly, an inch, shorter, I am 5ft 11 and 3/4 so this is kinda important, so anywhere between 5ft 10 and 6ft 8 is good. Im not one to go for looks, you only gotta see my ex to know that (hardy ha!!), but there has to be something in his eyes, i need to see that his eyes tell me a story, like just by looking at his eyes i can already tell what hes like and then the smile, his smile needs to be warm and somewhat quirky, I like big smiles. As for body size or shape, i really dont mind, Im big so I just like to know his size isnt a reflection of what he expects me to be, cos it aint gunna happen. uh-uh!

OOOH IM SOOO CULTURED
He has to be alternative, in that respects i mean he has to understand the alternative lifestyle and appreciate its key culture ingrediants, that being: 1, Music taste and input. 2, manor of thinking. 3, self expression. i will explain the numbers, 1: ok so this is tough because there are millions of genres of music that arent mainstream so i cant say "he must not like mainstream music" and also its not soooo bad if you do like mainstream music, but i like my guy to be into THE METAL!!! and all associated sub genres are included in *nod* THE METAL!!! I also have a weak spot for musicians/singers and i like that but its not important, even if his only input into the musical world is to go to gigs and festivals then that is all i need for ingrediant one. Number 2, kinda speaks for itself, I just dont want someone who conforms to everyday society just to please, I like a man who isnt afraid to think different. Number 3, self expression comes in many ways and i guess for most alternative people it comes out in the way they dress or if they are a musician then its in the music they write. This doesnt mean i want some crazy wild ass glam metal emo goth punk rocker to be preaning himself in the mirror for 5 hours, I just want someone who can understand the mentality of expressing yourself through the way you dress, and if he does the same then that is all good. I would like to add, reebok and burberry are a definate NO NO!

SO WHATS GOING ON UPSTAIRS?
Ive left this til last because to me, out of EVERYTHING ive just mentioned this is THE most important part of it all. Paint me a picture: Ive met so many guys who portray themselves to be something they arent, all i want is someone genuine. now this is all in the way they think, if they think that im going to be impressed by bullshit, then they are wrong, ooohh soooo wrong, yeah! I really hate it when a guy tries to impress you with "oh yeah baby, well this one time i climbed the outside of the eiffel tower, yep.....thats what im all about" ( yes a guy really said that to me) previously he had told me he'd never even left the country, you men forget the things you tell us. now the amount of times ive heard shit like this come from a guys mouth is untold. I can see through this, and I dont like that, infact that pretty much ruins it all. You can tell so much from what someone tells you when you meet them for the first time, are they genuine or are they trying too much to impress you that its kinda sickening *vom*, I know people have done major things in there life but sometimes guys you just trip yourselves up by the lies you tell. PLEASE DONT! i would rather you said "hey, actually my lifes pretty rubbish, i work 9-5 and i go out at the weekends and im not a superhero" than lie through your arsehole to get me on another date. Take me for me: I want a guy i can run to in my slouching around the house clothes and he still goes "oh my god, you are so beautiful" cos i want them to see whats on the inside, i want them to except me when im vulnerable, and when im happy or sad, lost or angry, emotional from so much awesomeness. I just want a guy to see me and all that i am which is the emotion i have and all that i can give to someone. The truth is we dont do our housework in high heels and our underwear, at times we need to fart, or cry, or laugh so hard that we fart and cry........... oh yeah thats hot O_o ........... I want a man who can be strong when hes faced with fear but not be afraid to show that hes not coping so well and a guy who will come to me when the chips are down, ill be around, with my undying, death defying.......WOAH, moving on! I want a guy who can embrace harsh reality and doesnt shove his head in the sand when things get tough, you god damn ostrichs, or is that emu's, i dont know. I want a guy who is not emotionally stunted and knows himself. A guy who is a gentlemen would be so nice, being gentlemenly is a honorable quality, a lil bit of a romantic is nice. A guy who can listen and much as he talks and enjoys having a laugh with me. When i say laugh i mean, wet yourself from laughing kinda laughter, i love a comedic guy, and i find it sexy when a guy makes me laugh, i love it when guys arent afraid to make a fool of themselves and its pretty much the best way to impress me, why?? cos im the same! I would like someone who can remember birthdays and anniversaries, god that would be good! I would like a guy who understands me, almost like im not a mystery but i am. I would like a guy who can stay commited to me, yeah, that would be good >_<>

i dunno..............

there is so much i could ask for, but its all on an emotional level, i don't want a saint or a psychiatrist, just a decent, able MAN.

Maybe if your a guy and your reading this, you might like to speak up for yourself, maybe post a comment...go on be outrageous! OMG FML!

#1. Im caught in a time warp

WWWOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHH............. today i have been caught in some kind of time warp, well actually it all started last night but today its been worse.......

I dont know if this is happening because all of a sudden ive realised how close to christmas we are and magically that thought pattern has sped up the ENTIRE world around me or if its cos im just abit fed up right now.

ok this is more like a rant than an actual blog, well no ones gunna read it anyways so i guess it doesnt really matter what i write. im just getting it off my chest.

anyways, back to the beginning ........ last night i sat at my computer after eating dinner and realised that i had probably been sitting there for about 4 hours and it felt like i had only been there for five minutes, but it also felt like the time hadnt changed and that the night wasnt getting darker and colder. Then this morning i woke up late but i got to work on time, which usually if i wake up late, i get to work late. i work from 9am til 3.30pm as a nanny and when 3 oclock came around it felt like it was only 11am and amazingly i had managed to accomplish nothing in the day but feed one of the twins i look after and wind her. Now i know i spent time there with the twins but how did it go so quick yet i seemed to have accomplished so little and its been the same tonight. I got home from work at about 4.30pm i came in and i let my two dogs out in the garden, i went upstairs and put my computer on to check my email, i checked me email. i had dinner and now its 10.55pm and im going to bed in a minute and WTF happened to the time and why has it gone soo quickly......whats happening to meeeeeeeee!!! i swear someone popped me into a time warp thingy some time last night without prior warning, whoever you are you will PAY........im so lost!

The big question: Am i alone in this? or does this happen to you????

welcome welcome, xfactor rubbish, fake southern comfort and shane dawson!

welcome, welcome one and all, to what is to be my first ever blog, im not sure this is something im going to keep up but, oh well!

its quarter past one in the morning, ive been drinking cheap rip off southern comfort with pepsi max (urgh), eating cheesy poofs (which in my estimation should only ever be eaten from a cup....cup o' poofs, has to be a plastic cup) straight from th bag, blasphemous! cheap 3 bags for a pound sweets and moaning at my computer cos its sooooooooo slllllooooowwwww tonight. tonight was xfactor, what a shit load of bum fucks that is!!! so i didnt watch it, however i did se the last five minutes of harry hills TV burp, gotta love him, and i did chuckle somewhat so today hasnt been a complete loss, ive spent the day in my much loved coheed and cambria tshirt (bought by a much loved person), my leopard print ugg slippers and bright pink tartan jama bottoms, its been one of those days thats nonsuch and rubbishy. its rained, its been cold, its just rubbish......
So here i am online listening to the jangly love tunes of alison krauss, yes i like country, well some of it.........anyway........and im bored so i go onto youtube, cos maybe it will bring me some delight, and for once it actually did.
i actually went on there to see if i could find the video for "pain" by three days grace, as i wanted to check out the tattoo they have on the back of thier necks but somehow i came across this guy, Shane Dawson. and now im stuck on youtube watching all of his videos, I thought, here is a guy that gets me and my personality, he is soo definately worth checking out, his character representations are soo unreal its ridiculous, especially his scene girls... not only that he is kinda fit and therefor watching him is easy and im kinda taken in by the way his mouth moves when he talks......( unnnggg *dribble dribble* while looking at the computer screen) you should check him out, he is funny but not major LOLZ (L337 FTW) i guess its just entertaining....

LINKAGE: http://www.youtube.com/user/ShaneDawsonTV


well that was weird....

i just wanted to get it out there and get this started as its something ive been meaning to do for ages, this blog will be mostly full of whimsicle shit and nonsense, BUT! it will be from my heart and it will have the worst spelling and grammar ever witnessed by mankind so it will be fun disiphering (sp?) what i actually mean......good luck and please come again. til next time mova funkas!!