so its that time of year again when the festival season has begun and all is hot yet muddy and somewhat hungover!
This year is my 4th Download Festival in a row and I'm pleased to say I'm finally starting to find sleeping in a tent on a blow up bed for 4 nights somewhat easier as every year passes (i only woke up once with a dead arm!). This year my travelling companions consisted of my two male best Friends - me olde brettfordshire and glennjamin, James proceeded to follow on via national express and join us later in the day. There were only the four of us in our camp but we met up daily with various Friends dotted about in blue, red and orange camping, we the hardcore bunch camped in BLACK (of coarse) as i have done for 3 years now, but, for the first time ever in the history of my download life i woke up at 6.30am everyday to find peace and tranquility! usually u hear random slogans and chanting going around the camp the occasional scream wave running through or someone screaming "I'M HAVING A WANK", people being sick/having a wee/shaggin etc etc u get the point. Waking up at that time everyday meant that because it was quiet i could go back to sleep with no problems and i did so every morning, WIN!
This year the line up wasn't great but the atmosphere and the people were just the same, it was an amazing festival and i had a great time with great guys. we watched some major fucked up show tho, phew, i had to take me olde brettfordshire away from it before he passed out........ yeah it was THAT bad!!!!! it was a Mexican wrestling show with a pretty yummy host ( I might add) and some pretty awesome acts in between, first a lady looking more like a ladyboy came on and did a fantastic little burlesque fan dance...lovely lovely, 2nd act was a girl who proceeded to staple balloons to various parts of her body ending it with a condom stapled to her pubic bone (slightly insane). 3rd, a female torture act, sat a guy down and then tortured him by sticking burning glass balls to his body then putting him in the shackles and pelting him with tomatoes, he then broke loose and fire whipped the ladies, as you do! 4th, a women who did stuff with fire including rubbing it all over her body and eating it, yummy! 5th a nice little burlesque dance for a member of the audience. Then the piece de resistance (however u spell it) some guy called crazy Sean....why is he crazy??? we ask! well really they saved the most grotesque for last cos my lord he did some crazy shit with his body, he basically mutilated and violated his own body live on stage for shits n giggles. He stuck needles in his body and squirted fluid out of them, then bashed one into his forehead, he stapled a picture of some porn star to his ball bag into the boxing ring then yanked it out, pissing bloody everywhere, he stapled his tongue his eyes, his face, anywhere he could, then he decided to get a 7 inch piece of steal and shove it thru the head of his penis and twist it and keep twisting til it bleeds all over the stage (it went from penis to nothing in front of your eyes, literal nothing) he then shoved it between his legs, got a plate, handed a sledge hammer to his assistant, laid down, put the plate on his penis and screamed "DROP IT!" his assistant then dropped the sledgehammer from 6ft in the air straight down onto his shrivelled skewered twisted penis, smashed the plate and drove the spike further in. at this point Brett was almost on the floor, so that was all jolly and fun. i must admit it just showed me that the human body is capable of so much and that crazy Sean is majorly fucked up!!!!!!
Anyways about the bands:
GOOD: Bullet for my valentine, your demise, whitechapel, esoterica, the Jim Jones review, killswitch engage, steel panther (never fail to impress), cancer bats, atreyu,
BAD: airbourne and flyleaf (i hoped they would be good as i do like them but her singing was diabolicle)
OK: 36 crazyfists (better the first time i saw them), my passion, we are the fallen,
Best performance: bullet for my valentine, steel panther and your demise.
Worst performance: flyleaf.
Band of the Festival: Bullet For My Valentine - just bloody brilliant live, you wouldn't know its not a recording and they are fit too :P - seriously, they just blew me away!
worst band of the festival: AC/DC ( so pretencious they had to have there own stage with twice the amount of speakers than everyone else cos they dont "do" festivals - then fuck off!)
I wanna thank all the guys - Brett, Glenn, James, jay, terry, Jon, Dave, random Ryan "shooTings", Steve and Steve, pandy, Sammy and Scott for helping to make this year amazing for me, cos god knows i needed it. Thanx Brett for sleeping in my tent with meeeeee :D
all i can say is "WOAH THERE!!!" and "SMASH IT IN THE PIT!!"...."ooo i need a plaster for the gash on my arm, i lost it in naam, birming..nam", "she was all over me", "i owned the pit" and "PORCH MONKEY!!!!"
looking forward to Download 2011: The Porch Monkey strikes Back :P
